From Krispy Kreme to #RelationshipGoals with Food
Six years ago, on the way home from my windowless, ten hour, paperwork stamping, beige cubicle job, I was stuck in traffic, pondering my life choices. My mechanical engineering career looked great on the outside, but it felt pretty shitty on the inside. So, I pulled into the Krispy Kreme drive-thru, a familiar scene so many women can relate to. In my mind, I played out whether I should or shouldn’t, a subconscious charade. I knew I shouldn’t. I also knew I would. I was just going to order one, but it ended up being three: two original and one fritter. I don’t even like the fritters. But, because of their density, I was hoping it’d fill me up.
In reality, I was looking to stuff the void I was feeling inside with deep fried carbs glazed with sugar.
As I consumed my sinful pleasures, I started to feel repulsed. Ashamed. My belly was full and uncomfortably heavy. I stopped myself short of finishing off the fritter by stuffing it under my seat. That didn’t last. It was gone before I entered my house. In hindsight, it’s so clear what’s going on. But, that’s just my Eating Psychology training talking. Back then, I suffered without understanding.
I wish I could say this was my rock-bottom, but I wasn’t quite there yet.
On top of everything else, I developed an autoimmune disease. Stricken with migraines and digestive issues, I found myself avoiding social situations because I never knew when a flare-up would take place. With my isolation came feelings of hopelessness, depression, anxiety, embarrassment, insecurity and shame … the same feelings that surrounded my unhealthy eating and body image. Finally, my sister stepped in and called me out:
“You’re in your 20’s. You need to do something about this.”
Hence began my journey into learning everything I could about the psychology of eating and the science of nutrition and applying it to my own life … leading to a body and life I love.
When I found and began studying the Enneagram, I was able to make sense of what emotions were triggering my unhealthy eating sessions. I was able to wrap my head around why it was so hard for me to take action. And, I was able to lift the feelings of isolation, hopelessness, and despair. A career change was in order.
I found my calling: